Well, it had to be done, didn't it? And since this is both the first and last post, I have won. Thank you all.
That you're a frayed knot.
Wrong! A knot is a largish species of bird, whereas I'm a small moth.I don't know whether knots are often frayed, but I can assure you that my wings are impeccably sleek and trim - even after Christmas. I can only assume that you are a granny knot.
You said it, not me, little gnarled insect.
Na, I'm a real granny - two sleeping children in my loungeroom attest to that. I am an exhausted granny, too, if I may say. Fortunately, I have my winnings to look forward to.
I'm not gnarled at all but sleek, as I said earlier. A worthy state of affairs for the winner of the first prize. You must be a granny knot because you've slipped - into second place. Never mind; you'll get used to it.
Yes, never mind, you all get used to your being not the winner. Wow, complicate sentence..
@3870 Dez has received a sentence??? It wasn't for Grievous Bodily Harm was it? Listen to that distant knocking sound.... it's prisoners quaking in their boots at the thought of receiving the latest inmate!
Rather, it should be the pretenders to my first prize that should be quaking in their boots. The nerve!
@3871:Huh, I had to ask my dictionary before I understand what you wrote and you always twist the words. This way you can't win (cause no one understands what you are babbling)
And now you are quaking in your boots, isn't it?
@3872: Are you still an exhausted granny? I will take away the heavy burden which winning brings with to help you.
Ah Gesine! So kind. Please do go and help auld Dez. Meanwhile I'll grab the Prize. Yahay!
You're both lovely. No, really. No, I DO mean it, honestly! But I insist on carrying my own first prize myself. I wouldn't dream of adding to the burden of your terrible loss, so out of pity, I shall carry it. There. Never say I'm unkind.
Aw, what a sweetie... "carrying my own first prize". It seems such a shame to disillusion her. But a plastic imitation first prize was such a good idea. Meanwhile, I have the genuine first prize right here with me. ;-)
Yes, but are you entitled to it? Of course not! That's why I have phoned the coppers.
Why, have you got problems with your plumbing?
You call plumbers, "coppers"? Odd nation, Pomgolians.
And that was an impertinent question to ask of the winner. You have no respect.
But I didn't ask it of the winner - I asked you!
Yes, lovey - same thing. Slow on the uptake, but sincere, I imagine.
Now, you mustn't denigrate yourself; you can't help it if you're a bit slow. Just go for a nice long refreshing walk. I'll tell you when to come back.
No, I'll just sit here on the winner's throne (you didn't know about it because you haven't the slightest chance of winning), and relax. Peel me another grape would you?
You're welcome to eat the peel if you really want, but the winner's throne is mine. Thanks for keeping it warm for me!
Ahem, that's the wrong type of throne, Moff. Besides, you're in the ladies loo.
If I had wanted to eat the peel, I wouldn't have asked you to peel it now, would I? You don't like subservience, do you? Diddums! Get used to it.
Subservience - in more than one of its meanings - is what you get at a certain well known chain of burger takeaway shops. I never go there. You may be used to it; I wouldn't know. ;-)
No, I eat only grapes. Get peeling.
I'm already appealing.
True, but I suggest you put all those clothes back on. You know what the judge said last time.