Stumbled across this one - thought you might like it.
Ahhhhhhhhh, you was suckering me in then into you said seat covers,, have you got furry dice in your car window?
My flesh creeps at the very thought. I don't really have any seat covers. Hence, my need of a complete car cleanout.
But you still diddent get tole by me to poke out eyes wif my stick. I hate that. Too much cleanin'.
Juss loook ere, you very well nows that it woz your stick, hime knot argyouing no more it is pointless unlike your stick..
I likes a man oo knows wen eez beat. So, how iz you? Been harrested for anyfink lately?
0000OOOOOOh dont joke like that Dezzie, I try to stay within the law,,,,just,,sort of now, you'll give me bad dreams now, hope that makes you feel better...
How is the weather? Ours was just spiffing today.
Well to be honest Dezzy i,m loving this global warming thing, hate the cold and today here its been really nice, like a spring day,,loveit big time...now if the UK would start to drift south id be really happy...
I thought it must have. We're chock full of Pomgolians. And Kiwis.
Well, it's not very big. A couple of decent outboard motors at the top end, and cut the ropes when no-one is looking, and it won't be long before you're here. There's a place to rent up the road. I'll put in a good word for you. Butchoo hafta wear yer teefs. Lan'lords prefer teefs.
One day i will stand on the shore of your land with the sun in my eyes and the warm breeze gentle caressing my olive skin, then i,ll spread sum of that white stuff over me nose n lip and juss blend in,,,blend blend blend,,,i has me tent so i,ll be ok for a while,,you juss wait n see...
You won't blend covered in zinc cream. Nasty stuff. Just use sunblock like the normal people. Oh, and I'll be glad to tell you about some of the nice places to visit. I haven't even seen the Western states. Well, except for a quick visit to Adelaide. It's cheaper to fly to Bali than to Western Australia from here.
Sunblock?? not on your nelly, i want as much sun as i can soak up, nice n toasty :O)
But you'll end up looking like a piece of dried fruit!
Oh i dont like the sound of that,,just a tan would be nice, cuz us brits dont get a lot of sun here!!
That's why yore brains is smaller. Poor things.
Now your juss being rude again, thats what you Ozzies does init insalts peoples, T'iz common knowledge over here...
It's science, innit? Yer little walnuts of brains wot once conkered the wurld, shrivels up to the size ovva pea. Hence you see many Pomgolians takin' desperate mesures to keep the flippin' thing from fallin' outa they's noses:
It's a tragedy. Evil woodland critters is fully aware of the 'vailability of real estate in vacant heads. No Pomgolian is safe. You MUSS getta sunlamp, Mikey! Keep yore brain asbigasawalnut. Ever tried gettin' a walnut up yore nose? 'N they carnt fall out, eiver.
We 'Stralyans got whoppers. Big as watermelons, is our brains. Some say about as useful, but those peoples are seldom heard from again, if you catch my drift.
Spose yer right, when i look around and see sum of the people of UKland makes me wonder,,really does, think the only conkerer's now are these...
Oh dear dear dear,,,My sweet beloved England Where A'rt Thou..
They're all over here. I tole you.
The bestest place to bee i thunk, i look at images of Australia with its nature, blue skies great beaches and think what a lovely place to spend a hour or two/3/4/5 etc etc ...
We don't appreciate our country enough. When you're born in a place, you think it's just normal. But I could have kissed the ground when I came back from the USA. I realised how wonderful it is to be at home.
I belong in Oztralia, I really feel i should be there, all that fantastic light, i know i would start painting again, I stopped when i hurt myself and haven't held a brush since.....
Well, South Africa has very similar light. And lions.
Yes i know, but i had a aunty in Oz somewhere, so it would feel more homely, and the people dont want to run a spear through you most the time..
What the devil do you think a pointy stick is, exactly??