Well, it had to be done, didn't it? And since this is both the first and last post, I have won. Thank you all.
Reuters told me, and they wouldn't lie.
Glad they told you that I'm the winner!
I'm sorry to disappoint you, but they showed me the dispatches. It seems I am the winner because I have managed to be last. You may bask in my reflected glory if you wish, but you must wear sunglasses. They will protect your eyes and make you look cool. Losers need more cool.
Losers need more cool... you want some ice?
Thank you! I'll toss it in my celebratory drinks!
Thank you for joining in my celebration - I'm the winner!
You WERE the winner, that is true, but the victory was so short-lived that it barely deserves a mention. Now, the ice, please? *bats eyelashes*
You're welcome to some ice, but what did you do to those poor bats?
Heard of "eye of newt"? Well, this is "eyelash of bat".
You mean you've given the bats mascara? What a black day!
True. They can't seem to get the little wand back in the container without getting it everywhere. They wanted lipstick as well, but I put my foot down.
Careful! You might not get the colour off your foot.
Or the bats, but that's the price of winning. We winners are philosophical.
You've won some bats? How wonderful for you! Meanwhile, I win the Prize.
...only to have it snatched away cruelly by the hand of fate which just happens to be attached to my arm.
Goodness! Having an extra hand must make it tricky brushing your teeth.
What is this "brushing your teeth" of which you speak? I do not want to brush your teeth.
I said *your* teeth, not mine. Anyway, I'm still the winner.
That's right, and I don't want to brush your teeth. Even if you do falsely claim winnership. No, that honour is mine. *smiles kindly and does a beauty queen wave to fans"
I beg to differ, your majesty. :-)
Oh. tee hee! Come now, I'm not all that majestic. I guess we winners are a bit.
A bit what?
I would have expected nothing less from an antidisestablishmentarianist. But I'm still the winner.