Well, it had to be done, didn't it? And since this is both the first and last post, I have won. Thank you all.
I polishes my teefs with canaries.
They taste a bit like custard creams - with crunchy bits.
Glad Kevin's still got it. That'll learn him for bein' a constant traveller. Yes, I'm jellyous.
Then don't trifle with winners like me.
Trifle? YOU stand aside. Nothing gets between me and trifle!
You'll settle for second prize?
How very sweet of you.
Heavens, no! I simply want both. Laugh all you want. Got 'em, and I'm out of here!
Sticks out paw and trips up Antipodean prize thief.
What a cheek. For that you'll get neither.
I'll thank you not to critique my cheeks. Prize-winning, they are. But I must have sustenance to keep them that way, and no blue puppy is going to stop me. No, siree!
Shh! Keep very quiet up here in the attic, Prize, and they'll never find us.
I sense the stench of a traitor! Unhand that prize and the trifle. I dine today on treats!
Boards up the attic hatch. That'll fix him.
Dezzie, go sit on your cheeks. That's what they're there for. If it's food you want I've got some of your soup I fossilized years ago. That'll keep you busy while I scoot across that winning line and claim MY prizes.
AHA! So you agree my soup is food! Take back all the lies, then. I can't sit on my cheeks. I'm not a contortionist. Besides, it ruins the dimples.
Maybe you should let Kevin out to bathe. Boarding up can get a bit smelly - and he's bad enough at the best of times.
Your soup isn't food in any real sense. It is liquid evil. I simply intend to feed your foul green concoction back to you since if I keep it any longer it will reach critical mass, break out of its containment and destroy the world.
As for Kevin's pong, I'll simply make the boarded up attic hatch airtight with clingfilm and masking tape. To ensure it stays that way I'll stick up a notice - Do Not Feed The Kevin. There are lots of spiders so he won't starve.
He'll have no need of trifle or chocolate. Neither will you on account of being being full of toxic soup.
I think Dez's neighbours will be very upset with you for boarding up their attic, Lynne. It's not their fault the two houses look practically identical. (Hint for the future: you can tell which is which by the smell of the er... soup.) Meanwhile the Prize and I are far away. :-)
You mean the prize and you are far apart.
Yes, the Prize and I are far apart from other competitors. ;-)
Not this competitor. I prised the prize from you and you never noticed a thing.
Surprise! I reprised the Prize.
No, you prised the decoy prize wot I made 'speshully for you.
Now for the reprisals...
I have a large stick, some scalding hot boullion, and an attitude problem. I came here to drink soup and kick ass. But I'm not drinking that. Phase two has begun.
You're drinking phase two?
Here' I'll help you with your altitude problem.
Takes aim with a bow and arrow and bursts Dezzies balloon.
Falls from sky, spilling scalding soup over the moth and the wolf, grabs prize (and trifle) and escapes on a getaway camel into the desert to eat her dessert.
Soup streams off my trusty soup proof umbrella that I carry around for many reasons, Including poking soup flingers. Hooks the goodies with the handle as Dezzie is carried away across the hot, dry desert sands by a deaf camel that can't hear whatever the whoa! word is for camels.