Well, it had to be done, didn't it? And since this is both the first and last post, I have won. Thank you all.
It sounds like Dez doesn't know that camels (being contrary) only stop when you say 'Charge!' and run when you shout 'Stop!'. Except for the few that are more reasonable, which gets a bit tricky near cliff edges.It's enough to give Dez the hump. Meanwhile I've retrieved the Prize. Thank goodness for Acme Patented Universal Soup Neutralizer.
No, you retrieved the packaging of the prize. I took the prize out of it for safe keeping.
And she handed it to me, thinking I was her trusty sidekick. However, I had overpowered him, and he is tied up in the attic. MMMM this chocolate is yummy. MMMMM!
No, you got a decoy fashioned out of congealed jellied eels.
Don't fib. It was jellied conga eels. Also delicious.
Ha! I knew they'd fall for the arguing-about-eels scenario, Prize. Now I have you all to myself. And my, that chocolate is really delicious!
That's not the prize you're eating. You nicked my Mars Bar!
No, I'm eating both!
You're actually only eating Lynne's Mars bar. I broke it in half to confuse you. I have the prize locked away in a safe, and it's on its way to a destination which shall remain nameless (here) and you lily-livered Pomgolians will never brave the snakes and spiders to come and take it. Ha!
Brandishes Acme safe opening device while grinning evilly.
The snakes and spiders came too late. I cracked the safe and emptied it while you were rounding them up.
I'm sure you'll enjoy the half Mars bar that Dez accidentally put in the safe, Lynne. Meanwhile I have the Prize. Again!
And you are welcome to the small piece of prize you nabbed. It's full of baby brown snakes which are doubling in size every hour. Chocolate makes them grow rapidly. So long, Kevin! It was nice knowing you!
Dear me - fancy Dez not knowing a packet of Curly Wurlys when she sees them. Such delicious chocolate; made by Cadburys, I believe. And the other pieces of the Prize taste even better.
Those are just hairs, not Curly Wurlys. I dropped the prize a couple of times.
Nonsense, I know about hares. Like rabbits but bigger. And in the run-up to Easter each year, boxing each other in the fields. Which reminds me - the shops sometimes sell easter rabbits made of chocolate (though what it's got to do with Easter I really don't know). And that reminds me to take another bite of the chocolate Prize. Delicious!
You would know if you understood that Christmas and Easter are pagan festivals, dressed up as Christian to appease the masses when Christianity was foisted on them as a state religion. Pagan Anglo-Saxons made offerings of coloured eggs to Eostre at the Vernal Equinox. They placed them at graves especially. (Egyptians and Greeks were also known to place eggs at gravesites). Even the bible condemns "baking cakes to the Queen of heaven". Just thought I'd toss that in as it's one of my bug bears when people lecture others about the "reason for the season".
Back on track...
I hope you washed the prize before gnawing on it. You'll get worms.
Sitting here munching on the real prize while two deluded souls argue over verminous, faux prize chocolate crumbs.
Oh, so now you'll get worms. It was covered in hideous bits after I dropped it. I never thought Lynne getting worms could make me so happy. Go figure!
I'm not the one left holding the wormy crumbs. I got the prize, the whole prize and nothing but the prize.
I don't judge you for your reluctance to discuss your worms. But I'd wash that chocolate down with a big bottle of anthelmintics, if I were you. (All my nurse's education, and that's the only word I am left with...Tragic!) And the prize is over here, and running for his life. I shudder to think of what you may have mistaken for him.
Go chase that running prize. It looks so real, doesn't it? I've made sure the batteries will last forever to keep you occupied.
Meanwhile I'll look after the real prize.
"Meanwhile I'll look after the real prize...by giving it to the rightfulowner - Dez, who is just the best winner, ever."
Don't be jealous, Kevin. It's not attractive.