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4 seasons on 45 seconds

1. jimdaly9817 February 2011, 18:39 GMT +01:00

Stumbled across this one - thought you might like it.

1106. micromoth10 September 2011, 19:52 GMT +02:00

I knew a monk who had a bad habit...

1107. happyture10 September 2011, 19:55 GMT +02:00

Three monks are meditating far from the humanity,
in the Himalayas.
One year passes in silence, and one of them says
to the others, "Pretty cold here."
Another year passes and the second monk says,
"You know, you are quite right."
Another year comes to pass...
And the third monk says, "Hey, I'm gonna quit
unless you stop bitching!"

1108. xymonau11 September 2011, 1:01 GMT +02:00

Mikey, why do you let Kevin bully you? He just called you a munky an' you respond by tellin' amusin' anecdotes! Ya gotta fight fire wif fire! Here's a can of petrol anna match.

1109. micromoth11 September 2011, 7:29 GMT +02:00

A match for Mikey? What's her name?!

Let me know how you get on Mikey. If you need any help, I'm very experienced with dealing with difficult women.

1110. happyture11 September 2011, 10:23 GMT +02:00

T,iz all gud cleen fun, Ma said if i talks rood like, she'll chuck me out N rent me room out to her friend the illegal immigrant, tell yoo dezzie, he'z been hovering around me bedroom door for weeks...

1111. xymonau11 September 2011, 11:13 GMT +02:00

Who? Kevin or the immigrant? Either way, they is very brave. I seed your room once, and the therapy has costed me a fortune.

Don't listen to Kevin. He has no experience. In fact, Monty Python based their "say no more" skit on him. You diddent know that didyoo?

1112. happyture11 September 2011, 23:53 GMT +02:00

I have spent a lifetime not listening to anyone except myself, Dezzie, its all like water of a ducks back, nothing upsets me, i has a skin thicker than a croc, so no worries Dezzie, I find young moffy very amusing, even entertaining, see, i,m smiling :O)

1113. xymonau12 September 2011, 11:10 GMT +02:00

I don't think he's all that young. Let's saw off one of his branches an' count the rings.

1114. happyture12 September 2011, 18:54 GMT +02:00

oh lets,,sounds so much fun, where's the chainsaw :O)

1115. xymonau13 September 2011, 10:53 GMT +02:00

I think I left it at the last de-branching. Well, there were witn - er - people approaching and I had to get out of there fast.

1116. micromoth13 September 2011, 13:53 GMT +02:00

Well really. I could feel very cut up about that!

1117. xymonau13 September 2011, 13:58 GMT +02:00

Of course, we would need an itsy bitsy chainsaw for a moff. I think a razorblade will do, and Mikey can make the "brrm brrm" noises.

1118. happyture13 September 2011, 14:34 GMT +02:00

We could stick a pin through him then and display him like the Victorians use to do, all we want is a little display case now ,,oh an a pin :OP

1119. micromoth14 September 2011, 9:45 GMT +02:00

Got to catch me first! Much, much easier said than done.

LOL AR

1120. xymonau14 September 2011, 11:15 GMT +02:00

AR? And Runs?

Kevin, dear, you can flit all you want in that glass jar, but you is already caught. See, flittin' is what moffs do, an' it's hineffectual (lookitup).

Ah, Mikey, should we break it to 'im that 'e's really a sixteen stone inebriate wif the DT's?

1121. happyture14 September 2011, 11:50 GMT +02:00

be gentle dezzie cuz he iz a likkle bit flighty and might get upset, I,ll handle him, cuz ive had training in these situations,,,HEY FATBOY GET IN THE JAR!

1122. xymonau14 September 2011, 11:54 GMT +02:00

Subtle, yet firm. You is a master of the hart of conmunication, Mikey. I dips me lid ter you.

1123. happyture14 September 2011, 12:40 GMT +02:00

Why thank you fair maiden, got it from the book i am now reading, improving your communications with others. marvellous book, even shows you how to pronounce fowl language while eating a Croissant, always handy...

1124. xymonau14 September 2011, 12:51 GMT +02:00

I finds I blows the crumbs out when I do that. Not lady-like at all. Not like you gennlemanses. Mind you, fowls duz only cluck.

1125. micromoth14 September 2011, 13:59 GMT +02:00

AR stands for And Raspberries. A suitable retort for you unruly lot! Good job I'm bravehearted and noble and very, very adept at dodging glass jars. I've also got me Swiss Army glasscutter to hand, just in case.

1126. happyture14 September 2011, 15:43 GMT +02:00

Well Dezzie it rhymes with Cluck the word ive been practising :O)

1127. xymonau14 September 2011, 23:32 GMT +02:00

There you go again. I think you is bein' rude, an' it can stop right now, young man! Go to your room!

As for you, moff, the Swiss were never very good at manufacturing glass cutters, hence they are known only for their knives. That thing couldn't cut through warm butter. Thank you for the raspberries. They was delicious.

1128. happyture15 September 2011, 9:06 GMT +02:00

Bless him "A" He do try to be nasty but he juss aint gotit in him, thats us UKlanders all over, Kind,devilishly handsome, polite,sharing, well spoken, and last but not least good breeding stock, this boils down to a nation that likes to practice a lot, i for one think there should be a slot in the Olympics for it , UKland would take all the golds, followed closely by the French, with the Italians contesting for bronze, this would of course upset the Chinese as they had practised more than anyone else on the planet :O)

1129. xymonau15 September 2011, 11:29 GMT +02:00

Hands over ears MMMMMMMMM

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