Stumbled across this one - thought you might like it.
Na silly, wot tit tiz iz, When her drinks water it goes into her legs hinstead of her guts, bloats um up like balloons it does, but what them there pills do is make her havaperate it in steam i think or a gas, the honly down side his the gas,,yeap she smells like a dingo's dung pile in summer, probably why her anna got any friends :O)
Now I knows you is forrin. Dingoes don't got dung piles, an if they did they woods be harrowmattick corze they is from Oz.
Wottif yor Ma havaperates to bits? I'd put some cling wrap around her to hold her together if I woz you. You'll thank me later.
Ssgood hidea, but you knows Ma, she wont keep still long enough itchin and scatchin pickin n flickin all the times her is, T'iz like bomb shrapnel flyin everywhere :O)
Well, put mittens on 'er.
Ahh Dezzie thats Cruel, you knows how much she enjoys pickin her snitch :O(
AAhhh - I hope that means, "nose"?
Well yeahhh, Snitch, slang for nose, like pecker is short for .............................
All this nose-picking is putting me off my food. Shame on you. Trade her in on a new one. You know you want to.
Well i was going to sell her to the sweep as hers a good un for puttin up the chimneys, Cuz hers covered in thick hair bit like a chimp her is, ideal for collectin the soot :O)
Duz her barth? Corz she looks like sheez alreddy doin' it.
NA, her dunner baff, I stick the pressure washer on her once a munth or when the flies get too much :o)
Tsk! Spoiled, as usual!
Her iz yes, to meals a day, fresh bedding once a month, what more cud a ma want :O)
She'd be gettin' none of that fancy stuff in my house, I tells ya! Bred 'n water 'n gruel for special days, 'n a scraper for cleanliness. It was good enuff for the Roman soljers, wernt it?
Well so they say but when i was a Roman soldjer hardly any where Italian we where from all of the conquered nations fighting for Rome, and the pay was crap :O)
You got salt, diddentchoo? Dunno wot yor whingin' about. I never gets paid in salt.
Hey, a Pomgolian refugee - Miriam Margolyes (from Harry Potter and other things) became an Australian today - which happens to be Australia Day. You boat people will have to stop landin' on our shores. I know you're waitin' for the chance to sneak over here. I warned 'em, an' they've put barbed wire around the coast an the hairports, juss in case.
Yeah Salt,,gived me high bloody blood pressure,,
I would make a great Oztralian, I swear a lot, like fishing and think Koala bears are cute,,See i pass with flyin colours :O)
Nope. That makes you a Septic (tank, rhymes with Yank). We know koalas are wild clawing beasts and not to be trusted. Most Aussies swear perpetually, so "a lot" is feeble, hindeed! Fishin' is like golf - knows no national boundaries, so prooves nuffing. Yool hafta do better than that. Wiffout lookin', wot's the second stanza 0f "Advance Australia Fair"? Go on. I dare you!
Well pull yourself a perch and i'll rattle a few off, bush walking, scuba diving, B,BQ's , high lighting hair, Rolf Harris, surfing, Rugga, Cricket , Well i think that proves me point, i is an Australian by nature but by bad fortune born elsewhere :O)
RUGGA?! Here we call it Union or League, depending on the genre. And I don't want to keep reminding you that Rolf Harris is just about British. I'm waitin' for that second stanza...
Hactually Rolfy boy is of Welsh decent look you isn't it like, I am a Oztralian I am, when i see a Roo i swerve like im trying to miss it, even if its on the internet, Tell ya it stands out like a shag on a rock , any ways im Flat out like a lizard drinkin so i'll catch ya laters :O)
I really did LOL that time. You have to have some points for trying. I hope you get your wish some day, Mikey. My Dad always wanted to go to the "old country". He did get to visit England in his 60s (and nearly freeze to death in the winter there). He stayed for almost a year, I think. He hated me saying I am not British. He was third generation, for goodness sake! Still, he was raised in another era, when the height of society was to talk like a Pomgolian.
Ahhh its good to laff,and even better if its out loud, One day i shall walk upon your land, its on my bucket list so its gotta happen :O)
Who on earth invented that expression? It doesn't make any sense.
I would like to see England and other parts of Europe, but I'm sure I won't. Still, I never expected to visit the US and I did, so you never know what the future holds, hey?
My immediate future holds food in it. Yes, I can foretell that clearly. Food. Omnomnomnomnommmmm!