...then you may like these:
· I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
· When chemists die, they barium.
· I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
· I stayed up all night to figure out where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
· This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
· I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.
· I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
· They mailed me to say I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.
· I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
· A cross-eyed teacher lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils.
· When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
· I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!
· Broken pencils are pointless.
· I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
· I dropped out of communism classes because of lousy Marx.
· Velcro - what a rip off!
· Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.
Groans all round, please.
I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.
I tripped over a bra, it was a booby-trap.
A book fell on my head, I have only my shelf to blame.
I enjoy puns, and thanks for posting these. I wish I was clever enough to think like this.
My old favourite has always been: Did you hear about the dyslexic man who sold his soul to Santa?
Very fitting for the day. Merry Christmas!
I didn't make these up myself, I heard them in the Last of Us (game)
A not so Christmassy pun:
Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp? He bought a ware-house.
What did the cannibal got when he was late for dinner?
A cold shoulder!
Did you hear about the dyslectic pimp?
He bought a warehouse!
That's really funny.
This is one that made me laugh once I got it!
Have you heard about the guy who discovered that he's both dyslexic and gay? He's still in daniel!
and now I see I posted the same pun twice *shame*
Oh, so you did. I've done that before, too. :o)
we're getting old
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."