Well, it had to be done, didn't it? And since this is both the first and last post, I have won. Thank you all.
Being as how I am no longer gobsmacked and revolted by your questionalble goings-on, I can now say that i win.
Well, you can *say* it, but it isn't so. I'm the winner!
You left out a couple of words. Seems you can't say it but it IS so. You meant to say, "Well, you can say it, but it isn't so bad for us losers". There. I said it for you.
You can say that you're a loser if you like. I don't mind in the slightest.
Well, I would if it were true. Sadly, the burden if winningness lays heavily on me.
Poor thing! I can see that the burden of querying winningness with a big "if" is bound to lay heavy on you. But don't worry - I am the answer to your problem! And never let it be said that I failed to help a lady. I have no "if" but only certainty: I'm the winner!
Ah, if I only had a dollar for every loser that claimed that, I'd be a rich woman, and could forego the prize. But fate has elected me to victory, and who am I to question fate?
You really should get that sleep apnoea seen to. Or were those the noises of ignorance and poor manners? Were you perhaps speechless because you have no argument?
Don't pout, and come here while I spit on this hanky and wipe your face. Dear, dear! All that snivelling and snoring have wreaked havoc.
Not likely! I know whre that hanky's been!
I hear that Dez is of the old school i.e. still keeps her hanky in here navy blue wot nots. That's enough to scare any moff away :0)
How did you know they were blue??!
Why, because you're Conservative, of course!
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me, Moff. I am almost moved.
Oh jolly good. Will you move far?
Evidently way beyond Brisbane... :-)
I'm the winner!
Yes, you've won the right to clear a path for me, and to tell the world that I have won. I AM way beyond Brisbane, travelling in a northerly direction.
What cheek! Wait until I am otherwise engaged an' try to take over? Well, not this time, sonny Jim.
Moffs, she has a son called Jim! Never told us that before. How many other offspring are we unaware of ????
An' just why do you wanna know, Granfather? Would you like me to adopt you? I could. But you might eat too much. How are you at cleanin' houses? If you can clean houses, I'll adopt you today!
Well, really! Just as I was stretching out on the winner's sofa, you have to interrupt my victory nap. Good job I'm redoubtable! Now, can I borrow Jim to clean my house?
No. That would be tantamount to child labour, and I would never dream of breaking the law. Publically.
No, in this case it's improving the pension. And when Jim is ready at moth' house he can come to me for cleaning. I offer free board and lodging.