Stumbled across this one - thought you might like it.
So how will the Welsh cheat?
We dont need to, bloody land of rugby Wales woman, invented in Wales it was, played every day in Wales it is, you just wait n see like innit , we are gonna win gonna win gonna win,,,,,,ooooh we are gonna win gonna win gonna win...And if will dont it proves that the others cheat!
Ahem. Australians (oi! oi! oi!) would never dream of cheating. Why, we is as honest as the day is long. Jus' for that, I have instructed the wobblies to flog you onna field. You shall not win. The tall, bronzed Aussie men will beat your bunch of sissies. EVEN IF THEY DON'T WIN THE GAME!
(Yer Ma isn't playin, by any chance, is she? 'Cause if she's playin', all bets are off!)
Well funny you hask Dezzmerellda, When Ma was younger the Welsh rugby team spotted her doing the weekly shop in Tesco's ,,you know pushing the trolly in an out between the isles dad under one arm and trolly in other, mind she was quite offended when they said you would be a great bonus to the Welsh team we are looking for a strong man to make a good forward,,Burst into tears she did, and swore from that day till this that she will always shave before going shopping in Tesco's
Ah, an aunty Jack type of woman.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KnEOr1MgwTM (closing credits on an early 1970s show - iconic here)
Right then,,,right,,I,m showing Ma these pictures and i tell you now she aint gonna be happy Cuz Ma has only got Sideburns and a goatee, not a hideous rug under her nose,,,,,your so gonna be for the high jump now gurl...
Ah, yes - there she is!
AGGGGGHH! Ma's fuming now, bloody smoke coming offa the wheels of her wheelchair,,glad im not in your shoes,,,"what Ma" yeah your passports under the urn on the fireplace...Tell ya dezzie you better hide,,n hide good cuz when Ma gets there your for the high jump!! an its all your own fault !!
I love her passport photo. Well, you tell her there's a couch here for her any time she wants. But she's gunna hafta change her hattitude. I know the troof hurts, but she kinda overreacted, doncha fink? I mean, reportin me to the harmy, navy an' hairforce might be regarded as extreme.
(I forgot to include the pic first time.)
Ma sez that she aint bean sow hinsalted in all her life, it was a pear her teefs got stuck in not a happle!
She shoodent use such cheap hair dye. It's haffecting her. So when should I meet her at the hairport?
Hairport,,,cant afford that luxsherry, Me Ma knows a Chinese man from round the corner and he's got one of them Sampan Junks and for a small fee he's gonna sail her to Oztralia, so, as long as the winds in the right direction Ma should reach you in bout,,,,,,,7 months give or take a week or two,,She all Hexcited bout it now, shes not settin out for a week an she's already got her life jacket on,,i tried takin it toff but her bit me and said leeve it,,its keepin me warm its hoctober yoo knows, her can bloody get on with it now,,,think i need a tittenus now?
Did she have her real toof or her falsies? 'Cause that real toof is vemenemous! I don't fink a hanti-venine haves been hinvented yet. Her sliva keeps meltin' the tess tubes. I don't fink a shot will help now. You might lose that harm.
If yer Ma is comin' here in a leaky boat an' the wind is blowin this way, woodja hat leese harsk 'er to 'ave a barf firsk? She don' arf pong. No, you gotta not be senskitive. I speaks as i finds.
T'waz her real toof,, you no's the one,,the front one that swings like a barn door,,sunk it right in upto her gums her did, woz lucky i had a boiled sweet in me pocket,,,she let go as soon as she seen me humbug,,was a bit fluffy but was ok four her,, she woz washed down with paraffin only yesterday, her smell a bit strong but it got rid of her body lice we think,,she canna wait to have a nice laxing sleep in your bed, fresh sheets bless her,,she's smiling here like a little crocodile...
A toofless crocodilligator. *sigh* Well, I guess I can have her for the weekend or sumfink. What do she eat?
Mothballs and pee,,well thats what she smells of, i dunner no's what she eats, although there woz this one time when i left a packet of crisps open while i went to water nelson and when i came back buggar me they'd gone, Ma said it woz the rats again but on closer hexamination i founded tyre tracks up to me easy chair, Now let me tell you this hiff she had hooverd her would of got away with it scot free, but she didn't so i grounded her for a week,,let the air right out her tyres i did...
Lavender an' urine. Ah, the memories!
Well, I c'n give 'er spag bol five nights a week, then on the sixth night we cooks it. Then she has a choice. Spag bol sauce, followed by noodles, or t'other way round.
Yeah,,,Yeah,,,,What Ma,, Oh i,ll Hask,,,Dezzie she said you aint Hitalian are ya, cuz she says too much grease plays havoc with her bowels,,Not that shes ungrateful like Dezzie but ,,,,,,What you say Ma,,,Baked potatoes and T bone with a side salad leave the horns on the steak...Oh hope you dont mind cooking that up for Ma do you Dezzie?? Hmmm!!!
If she can catch a wild t-bone, then I am prepared to cook it. But I never seed one growin' salad onnits sides! She's jokin, right?
No,,Wee always eat jacket potatoes with T bone steaks with side salads, tiz the done thing ere in Hingland, and Wales N Scotland N Ireland,,dont tell me you never herd ofit??????????
Heye ment heye never seed a live one roamin' the hills sproutin' salads. I seed dead 'uns laid out onna bed of everythin'.
Eye wood bee worried if the woz green stuff growing offa me T bone, probably woodn't eat it cuz it meens its going off, my sister iz a veggiemanic honly eats veggies nothing else and her has two have vitamins to boost her diet, hers really helfy cuz she runs marathons and stuff but always looks like her needs a T bone to me :O)
Does she eat other plant food? You need a big variety.
Hey, when you guys play the French in the world cup, please don't hurt them. After all, they have such wonderful accents!
Bonjewa monure, duzzz yooo like'a my Onionssss!!!